What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
