apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
