he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
