I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
