you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
