The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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