Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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