I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
