Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
