she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
