he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
