New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize