So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
