Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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