Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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