This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
