party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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