can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
