Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
