am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
