WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
