Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
