I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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