I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
