remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
