Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize