Buhtt sex?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
