The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
