if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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