cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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