I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
