Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
