i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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