how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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