I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
