i just had sex bonerless
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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