she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
