It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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