And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
