our cab driver is having phone sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize