apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
