Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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