david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Mom said you looked used
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
