YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
