the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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