I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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