If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you're hired as official boob wrangler
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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