last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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