you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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