i need an iv and a liver transplant
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
