We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
