But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
