I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
