just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
