I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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