apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
