I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize