You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
