he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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