My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
