Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
