so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
