i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize