you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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