i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize