Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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