You're so nebulous sometimes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize