just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
