you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
