You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
