He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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