I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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