you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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