I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
