You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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