I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
