i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
