WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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