Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
