I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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