Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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